>I have a fairly cool life. I have gadgets, video game systems, a smart phone, laptop, etc. I have books, and DVD’s, CD’s and photo albums. I have stuff. I have kids. I have vehicles. A roof. A dog. A horse. Food. I have the essentials…plus a lot more. And it is pretty awesome, most of the time.
Yet, I usually want more. Wait. I want more. Always. I always want more. There is always something else I want. I could list off a few things, ready? Go: Kindle, Ipod touch, PS3, new entertainment center, another bookcase, a desk, a new dresser, new clothes, a new pair of shoes, a treadmill, another DVD shelf, etc. etc. etc. Oh, and the big one. More kids. I want to have more kids, at least two more.
Have you seen the mess that is my life? Yeah, more kids is not a good idea. Not that kids aren’t great and all, but I live with my ex-husband, as roommates. And I want another baby. Crazy.
Well, my ex got a vasectomy after our youngest was born. I knew then that it was bad idea (wait wait…I went along with it, agreed to it, made logical sense of why we were doing it….I went to the Dr. appointments, in fact, I made the appointments.) and I still think it was a bad idea. He’s my ex, but he’s the father of the two I already have, he’s doing a pretty good job. I’d have more kids with him. Yes, I’m crazy.
And my Mom mentioned prayers for contentment, and it struck me. Like an anvil falling out of the sky. I don’t very often look at my life and say, “WOW! Thanks God. This is amazing and please help me be the best I can be to take care of all of this.” Nope. Not me. I look at my life and say, “Okay, well. This is working in these areas, but I’d like to change this, move this, update that, add to that, take away from this, scratch that, mix this up. Maybe then, it will be enough.”
I take things into my own hands, ignore God, ignore what He is trying to do, the path He has for me, the life He is calling me to, and I venture out on my own. I try to make things go my way, in favor of what I want, and it just messes stuff up. I wish I’d get out of the way!!
So, I am going to examine the areas where I am behaving like I know best, screaming “MY WAY! I HAVE to have this, I don’t care what lengths I have to go to. I am doing this. RIGHT NOW.” and let go. I’m going to get out the crowbar and pry my fingers off of my life, and let it go. Because God didn’t put me here to put me in charge. God put me here to learn to let Him have full control.
Are you content? If not, what area of your life could use more contentment?