Well, as you’ve probably already gathered, we are homeschoolers. I want to talk about the recent doubt, second-guessing, fear that overtook me. I’ve been researching curriculum for probably close to 3 years, because I knew I wanted to homeschool, and I didn’t know what curriculum I wanted to use. As we have grown and moved forward, I had narrowed it down to the curriculum I grew up using, and the curriculum a friend is using with great success. It came down to time to order, and I honestly was stuck. Looking back, I probably should have hit my knees at that moment (oddly enough, we want a VERY God centered curriculum…so why didn’t I? Maybe I should blog about it…). I finally decided on a curriculum, partially due to cost, partially due to familiarity, partially due to accreditation. Oh, and testing. I like testing. So does my oldest offspring. So, I made my choice, made my order, and waited. Two days later (I think?) I got the email asking me and my oldest to get online and take the big entrance test. He did STELLAR – of 75 questions he only missed 2, and they were in different subject areas. Let me tell you now, I didn’t want to let him get those questions wrong. I knew we were dealing with a touch of boredom, and we had reviewed that particular lesson the day before. But, I swallowed my Mommy-pride and let him answer for himself.
Fast forward, test results are in, books in transit (and I’m checking FedEx obsessively) and a catalog comes in the mail. From my other very possible option for curriculum. And as I turned the pages of a full color catalog, and read all of the great reviews, and reconsidered that my friend is using it with so much success, I panicked. What had I done? Why didn’t I pick “this one”? It is so much better, it’s this, it’s that, the list went on, and I cried. Oh yes, I did. Because my kids are important to me, their education is important to me, and just brushing this off was not okay with me. I want the best for them. I want to push them without plowing them over, I want to challenge them, without creating a brick wall to stop them. I want this process to be the best we can make of it. Suddenly, this full color catalog catapulted me into “failure Mom” thoughts. How could I have picked the wrong one? I put the catalog down and got busy on the house. I wondered about returning the other books. I wondered about selling them on Craigslist and just buying the other curriculum.
The day progressed like this. I worried endlessly. Then Stacy got home. He discussed with me all of the pros and cons for both programs. Certainly the pros are much greater for BOTH programs. I was still worried. I’m the only person I know using the curriculum I picked. Then, the very next day, our books arrived.
Guess what? They are as amazing as I knew they would be. My son is as happy and excited as I had hoped for. I made the right choice for our family for this year. Oddly enough, making that choice didn’t come lightly, but all it took was one full-color catalog to make me doubt myself. The other curriculum looks fantastic, and I’m glad it’s one that is out there and offered. And you never know, I may need a completely different curriculum for boy #2…he learns different than my oldest.