The Battle of Health vs. Opinion
Some of you may already know that I am struggling with my weight. I weighed myself for the first time since we moved. It had been 48 days since the last time I weighed in. (That’s the convenience of using a Wii as your scale, it tracks everything. It even makes comments about how much weight you’ve gained (or lost, I would assume, don’t know though) when you use it.) I was horrified by the number. It wasn’t pretty. I’m 65 lbs OVER my target weight. 65 pounds?!? How did that ever happen to ME? I was the skinny one. I was the one that could eat a full size burrito at lunch, bacon cheeseburger for dinner, a tub of Ben & Jerry’s before bed, get up and do it all again, and never gain a pound. Well, I did some stuff that messed up my metabolism. Plus, I am no longer riding horses on a nearly daily basis. Or running around all over the valley chasing my friends and boys. I am a stay at home Mom (oh yeah, pregnancy didn’t help! LOL) and I tend to snack too much.
The first part of this year I went to the hospital for severe asthma, and was put on a ventilator. I truly believed I was going to die. I am both thankful to be here with my kids and disappointed that I didn’t get to go Home. When I woke up, got the ventilator removed, and started eating again, I vowed to lose the weight. I vowed to exercise. I wasn’t going to live in an unhealthy manner any more. My life had been spared, and I was going to make it the best life possible.
Don’t get me wrong, some changes I’ve made have stuck. I get up at 4:00 am to write, because I’ve realized how passionate I am about writing. (And I’m about 30 pages from finishing the first draft of my first novel!!) I weeded through my life to find out what I was passionate about and what I was merely interested in. I’m opening a home daycare again, because I truly love the joy that children bring into life. I love teaching, leading, guiding, and loving on all these little guys and gals.
But the changes to my diet and exercise routine didn’t stick. In January, after I got home and once I was able to move around more I started in on the Wii, doing the step aerobics, and increased my length of time from thirty minutes to an hour. I started planning my food, and cut back calories, and was moving in the right track. I even cut out fast food! It was great. Then the big move happened and I allowed us to grab fast food a few times because it was either really late to cook dinner, we didn’t have the pots and pans yet, we had pots and pans and forgot to bring the food, etc. Moving sucks! LOL
Well, we are all moved in. Have been since April 1st. Guess what? I’ve not been working out, I’ve not been eating right. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. I want to have my un-hubby take some pictures of me for my FB fan page (that I’m about to start) and for the blog, and for the book cover, but not like this. I want that 65lbs gone. Yet, it won’t melt off the night before pictures. I need to start working on it.
Then some words I said to un-hubby when I was being mean came back to haunt me.
“If you didn’t change when your health hung in the mix, you aren’t going to change because your opinion is hanging now.”
And my health is suffering. So, I’m pulling out “Made to Crave” by Lysa Terkheurst and reading it again. I’m going to start small. Cut back on sugar, not go back for seconds, eat a salad for lunch every day. I did really good with my selections at the store last night. Plus, I’m going to make myself fit in 30 minutes of exercise. I wish my asthma didn’t get in the way of bike riding – cause I’d start riding for 30 minutes a day. Maybe I’ll start with ten minutes on the bike and build up. Use the other 20 minutes doing something a bit lighter….
Do you struggle with eating right? Exercise? How do you combat this struggle?