I am ever so slightly digging Pinterest and the cool things I find there – and I have a new goal. To try a new recipe or DIY craft/project at least once a week – instead of just looking at all the pretty pictures. Wish me luck, because I’m not so great at following through with these kind of goals.
While on Pinterest today I found a link to this site: http://zachterry.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/50-questions-to-ask-your-spouse-on-a-date-night/ and as I read through the questions, something really stood out to me.
I am dating, or at least, trying to date. I have spent the last couple of years going through many ups and downs in life, and I have, at times, been very lonely, and at other times I haven’t felt like dealing with any one else in my life. Lately, I’ve thought more about relationships and I know I would like to find someone to share my life and time with. In the process of getting to know people, we ask questions. I firmly believe that asking questions helps us get to know the other person and keeps the conversation going. Yet, as I read this post, it made me realize it doesn’t just matter when you are first getting to know someone. By asking questions all the time, even after spending much time with someone, you will stay up to date on who the person currently is.
People change. We grow, our tastes change, our favorites shift, and our overall view on life changes. Yet, all too often I’ve seen in relationships (and even been guilty of doing this myself…) that we get used to the other person liking something a certain way and never consider that they might change. Then, that person’s preference changes, and they aren’t sure how to express it – so they are stuck living in an old preference, feeling like they are not heard, and we are too busy to notice and too accustomed to the old preference to even really consider it.
I’m not an expert, and I won’t ever claim to be one. And I think this problem occurs in more than just marriage relationships. Friends go through this, siblings, and even parent-child relationships go through this. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve expected a certain reaction from my Mom, only to get a completely different one. Honestly, I spent a lot of time believing that she was “thinking” the way I assumed, but just trying to “be cool” with her reaction. Not true, my Mom has changed a lot from the woman she was when I was growing up. And my kids change all the time – I think something is a favorite, only to try to do it with them/feed it to them and find out they can’t stand it anymore.
Give the people in your life a chance to grow and change, and enjoy that with them. Ask questions all the time, even if you think you know the answer. Knowing someone isn’t something that only happens when you first meet, but rather you can spend your entire life getting to know someone if you’ll put forth the effort.