Oh how I love and have missed the gentle reminders. I’ve been tuning them out for a few minutes too many. The recent one, that I’m really stuck on and hoping that writing will help me better grasp and believe…. that I’m not a failure, and that what I’m doing is important.
I know, I know, by now I should know all the positive things about me – whether from scripture, or spoken by great friends, or my Momma, or my kids…but to be honest, I still get a little stuck beating myself up with a big dose of negativity.
I hate admitting that the ordeal with my last job affected me so severely, but it really knocked me off my feet and I just wanted to hide in bed all day, every day. (Not to mention being tired from being pregnant….made for a huge lack of motivation!) I don’t know why staying home and taking care of the house and supporting my family in that way isn’t motivating. It’s been a long standing dream and desire of mine to be home, taking care of the kids, the pets, the chores, the meals, and all the other small things that make up such a big job.
It hit me, sort of as a gentle reminder, and kind of like a ton of bricks….these people that I love best are worth my best. My best is not stuck in bed all day. My best is not letting the days pass by without doing anything. My guy is worth my best, our boys are worth my best, baby is worth my best….our home, our life, all of it. And there is so much to be proud of when maintaining a home, ministering to a family this way, supporting this way.
I could not apologize enough for my lack of doing, supporting, etc…but I was the only one that felt like an apology was necessary. I think, instead of trying to apologize enough for being lazy, I’m going to try to give the people here something to be proud of when they come home. It’s going to take a few days to get it all in order, and I have a very important project that I’m working on, and it takes my time, attention, and my hands. But I have a vision for our home, and I’ve realized that I want to always offer my best to these people that I love so much.
What gentle reminders have you gotten lately?
Regina Walker 