I’d like to think I’m generally grateful for the many blessings in my life, and that my eyes and heart are open to seeing more of the good than the bad. Yet, the last few days the exact opposite has been true. I’ve been blinded by a severe case of the “I want’s” and the “Gimmees”.
At first, I thought I would write about what it is I’m wanting, and why it’s SOOOO important. But, the truth is, it’s not that important. Somehow, though, the enemy has completely distracted me from what is good in my life and I’ve allowed myself to get seriously upset about some things I don’t have. Yes, things. Like, material possessions.
And admitting that is hard. Because I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to be angry about a possession I don’t have right now. But I am. I am frustrated to the point of tears and I’m tempted to stomp my feet because “I deserve…” but that’s not the truth.
The truth is that I am extremely blessed. I am surrounded by children that I love and that love me. My husband works hard to take care of us. He loves me well and accepts me for who I am. He supports me and my crazy hair-brained ideas. The truth about what I deserve is that I deserve death, because I am a sinner. But, by the unmeasurable grace of God, I am saved. Christ bought me for a price.
This doesn’t make the selfishness go away immediately, but it puts it in perspective so I can dry my eyes and clean my house. And, I think the main reason I wanted to write this is because sometimes I feel like my writing is too idealistic. And honestly, I’m a real wife, mom, woman, who struggles with real life issues, too.
What are you struggling with? How will you overcome your struggle?