At church they keep asking this awful question. They keep asking us “What do your prayers say about how you view God?” or “The things you pray for reflect on how you see God.” If you pray for just yourself, your kids, your home, then you think God is there to meet your needs only. Yet, as your prayers expand to include neighbors, friends, extended family, strangers, people in other countries, etc., this reflects on you growing to recognize just how big God is and that He wants more than just to meet your needs.
I am not doing this thought justice, to be honest. And you may be wondering why that question is awful. It is awful because I don’t want to answer it. You know why I don’t? Because I can barely voice my prayers. It’s been this way for a while now. Because I have felt like God walked out on me.
That’s absurd, isn’t it? And what does that have to do with loving a wife well? Everything. Because just like kids begin to shape an idea of how God relates to them by how their parents relate to them, wives also shape an image and idea of how Christ loves them based on how their husbands love them.
I’m in a new chapter in life, and I am beyond thankful every day for all that I am blessed with right now. I am trying to pray more, and trying to overcome this hurdle. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t just pray anymore. But I broke down the other day, sobbing in my room with my new baby girl, because it hit me. In the middle of a bad situation and being left, I believed God left too. I believed everything was my fault and I failed.
And I’ve spent the last year of my life nearly holding my breath, waiting for the catastrophe. (Yes, I’m tearing up again…) Yet, there hasn’t been a catastrophe. And my new husband loves me well. He listens to me (unless Nascar is on…then he naps), he supports me, he encourages me to pursue the things that are important to me and he is always ready to lend a hand when I’m tired, or help with the kids when I’m frazzled. He is truly a rock around this place. He overlooks the messes, chases me off to bed when I’m too tired, and reminds me that it is all worth it when I’m discouraged.
So, today as I wipe up the tears, and realize that God brought us here, and He is here, I’m going to relax a little. I’m going to quit waiting for the catastrophe, and I’m going to embrace each moment we have as a family. And I’m going to pray. I’m going to thank God for being here now, and being there yesterday, and already being there tomorrow.
And husbands, if you are here reading this, remember to love your wife well. Her ideas of Christ, and His ability to love, accept, forgive and guide her, are strongly tied to your ability to do those things. This is a great responsibility, I know…but it is worth it. I believe there is a special reward in heaven, set-aside specifically for those husbands that have loved their wives well.