I hate calling my stepson my stepson. There are so many negative connotations to that word. Anything step is bad, in so many peoples eyes. I say stepson, and people immediately want to know how much trouble him and I have.
We don’t usually. And the trouble we do have is resolved pretty easily.
I am very proud of him, very thankful for him in my life, and blessed beyond measure to be watching him grow. He is going to be an amazing man in the not-too-distant future. He is already a fantastic young man.
I really like to just stick with telling people that we are us & 5 kids. But something always causes the blended-thing to come up. Usually, it happens when we say something about having two 7 year olds, that aren’t twins, are a month apart and we get that look like “how the…” oh, we’re blended!
But blended-son just sounds dumb. I guess that’s better than feeling like I’m calling him a bad, rotten name if I speak about him. (I have two stepsons, but only get daily, regular interactions with the 14 year old, so I’m referring to him in this post.)
A while back, one of the younger boys was asking what it meant to be a stepfamily. Boy did the 14 year old make me cry that day.
His answer, “A stepparent is a stepparent because they are only one step away from being your real parent.”
(Somebody should tell that kid NOT to say stuff like this when I am driving, sheesh!)
Every time I’m forced to admit that he’s my stepson, and since I don’t have a better word for it, I just remind myself of his words. He’s just one step away from being my son.
And I have to add that, thanks to his mom being so supportive, that step isn’t a big one. It’s not an immeasurable gap, or something that can’t be bridged. I know how hard it can be to share our kids, and she allows me to be important to him and allows him to be important to me. I’m not trying to be his mom, that’s not what this is about. He has a mom, a good one at that!