(Today’s post is a guest post, beautifully written by Jason Bender. You can learn more about him at the end of the post, follow him on Twitter, and visit his blog, too! Enjoy!)
As a husband, I know I’m supposed to love my wife. However, frankly, a lot of times I just forget.
Why is that? How could easily the single most obvious thing for a husband to be doing slip from my mind?
I think it’s because, as husbands, we don’t really understand the importance of loving well. We buy into this “happy wife, happy life,” and think that’s the end of it. We make the goal of our marriage simply out to be survival, to be at least average, or if we’re really compelled, even better than average.
Certainly, I’m not knocking on committing to stay together. But is it possible that this goal is rather short-sighted?
The problem arises where we forget to love well, because at times it doesn’t seem we don’t need to. When we’ve made the goal of our marriage surviving, or being “average,” our point of reference just becomes everyone else’s marriage. And as long as I’m doing at least as well, then we’re cool – we’re just fine. There’s no urgency to love well.
So let’s look again at what Paul really says to us husbands in Ephesians 5:25,
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This verse is so important because it challenges us that not only are husbands to learn from Christ’s love, but they are also supposed to demonstrate Christ’s love to an un-believing world. In a sense as husbands, we receive the lead role in this movie called life, and we’re called to play the part of Christ.
Therefore, not only do I learn how to play the part by watching Christ, but when others watch me live
out that role – they learn about Christ from me.
Which begs the question, “What do they learn about Christ from me?”
Understanding that our love could have an eternal impact on someone else’s life puts the urgency back for husbands to love well. There is more at stake for me to love well than just my own marriage.
Jason Bender is the author of the blog, “A Year of Being a Better Husband,” which features short, daily posts about his own journey of becoming the husband that God desires.
He lives with his wife in Pittsburgh, where he is a graduate student at the University of Pittsburgh, and a volunteer worship leader for Crossroads UMC’s East Liberty Campus.
You can check out his blog here, or follow him on Twitter @JBend8