Casual Dating

Hi Regina!

I am hoping you can help me! I am a single (fluffy) mom. I am totally obsessed with my life, I love it and every aspect of the chaos we live in, but I am not opposed to some very casual dating.
Here are my three big problems:
I don’t feel comfortable going to the bar as I don’t really drink.
I can’t stand the idea of meeting someone in church, seeing as I don’t go regularly, I don’t want to “lead on” a Godly man.
Lastly online dating apps such as Tinder give me the WORST anxiety what is this guy going to do to me or what if there isn’t enough chemistry to make it to the casual dating part?? Any suggestions?!

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

First – I’m not sure if you wrote fluffy as a qualification or disqualification, but I need to address that you are a beautiful person. Inside and out. You are attractive, magnetic, kind, and worthy of love and attention.

Second – My suggestion is your hobby. Don’t have one? Get one. Just think about it – say you like rodeos, right? Even if you don’t compete, but you make a point to go. Go without the kids. Get a little concession food, watch the rodeo, strike up conversations. Someone will surface.

More of a book lover? Schedule time once a week to go hang out at the library and read. Inevitably, people will talk to you.

Enjoying your hobby may help with the loneliness, but it is a really good way to strike up conversations with people who you know share at least one of your interests.

I know you said dating apps aren’t up your alley. So try this instead, find a local Facebook group (or two), that has to do with your hobby. I’m in several reading groups and several horse/farming groups. Start talking and interacting there, make connections, and I could see a casual dating relationship sparking there.

Most importantly, love yourself and don’t settle. Love yourself enough to pick someone who loves you well, but be gracious enough to let them be human, and ultimately flawed, too.

With Love,
Regina W.