The gap between what I write and a who I am is narrow but sometimes I see it. Sometimes I see something about parenting, marriage, or even our little farm, so clearly when I write about it, but I have to practice hard to achieve it in my own life.
Things like the pause – I can write it out, I can put to words how and why it is so important. I see it clearly. And I practice it often, but sometimes I fail to practice that pause. It’s not because I don’t want to pause or because I stopped seeing it as important or necessary. It’s not because I want to write about something I don’t do all the time or write-up some impossible, perfect standard for living.
This gap is real and it nags at me sometimes to stop writing. It calls to memory many times that I’ve failed at doing what I’m writing about, and tells me that I then have no business sharing what I think.
But I’m learning something interesting. If I stop writing where that ugly voice tells me there is a gap, I stop writing all together and the gap between my idea and my practice grows. Yet, if I continue to write despite the gap, it seems to narrow. I seem to be able to put into practice more consistently what I’m writing about, the ideas I have. I am able to bring them to action in my own life more often.
The more I write, the more I become who I want to be instead of staying as I am. This is exciting to me. To be able to see the direction I want to go, and to see how my writing influences that I take the steps that direction for real.
Oftentimes, I put my fingers on this keyboard thinking I’m going to make a revelation to the world, but most often, I make one to myself. And I close the gap between who I am and who I want to be just a little bit more.
Until next time,