Captivating by Stasi & John Eldredge

While I haven’t quite finished this book, it’s one that I think you should know about sooner than later. I think women and men alike can benefit from reading this book.

Ladies, this book will help you peel back the layers and understand why some of the things that caused wounds in your life were so devastating. As a woman myself I’ve often found myself in the middle of a mess, aching deeply within, and shaking my head thinking, “This shouldn’t hurt this bad! Why is this rocking me to my core?” Stasi and John team up and write about the trials of womanhood in a way that made me realize why certain things hurt so bad, and they have helped me let go of past & present hurts.

Men, this book will help you see how your wife desires to be treasured, will help you see femininity for what it is, and help you embrace who your wife was created to be. This book will help you recognize why and how some of her past hurt her, and will help you see how you can avoid hurting her with your words and actions. Sometimes what seems like such a small thing to you as a man is a huge wound to a woman. We are wired differently (thank God for that!) and the pages of this book will help you treasure the women around you in a way that makes them feel treasured.

Captivating by Stasi & John Edlredge

I definitely give this book 5 lucky horse shoes and I hope you’ll check it out.

A Cat on the Couch

Today’s post is inspired by the writing prompt found at Write. Blog. Connect. Check it out!

I’m going to be completely honest, and maybe a little petty here. I feel like I’m drowning in plastic cups and plates, crayon on the wall, and clothes strewn everywhere. My house (a small one at that) is full of kids. Overflowing, really. And I’m 7 months pregnant with another one. (I am thankful, really.)

I wake up and look around and sometimes I wish I had a grown up house. Nice furniture, walls without marks, pictures hung up straight on the wall. I don’t want exquisite items in my home, just nice ones. Ones that aren’t marred and stained and ripped. I want a set of matching glasses and glass plates and I don’t want to have to sweep up the wreckage of breakable dishes every single day. This all sounds so lovely to me.

We recently purchased a nice, new to us couch. We are bargain shoppers and on a budget, so brand new was out of the question, and we decided against those rent-to-own furniture places for a number of reasons. Craigslist is where we found ourselves. We bought a lovely chocolate-brown sectional, with big fluffy pillows, and it is deep and comfy and I like it a lot.

I like it so much that now I don’t want to let the dogs in the house or the kids down the hallway. I just want to hog the couch. I want to hog the couch I bought to share. We only had a love seat, a two-seater, broken love seat, prior to this purchase. We would spread out blankets for the kids and the dogs and the kids would bring out their pillows and we made it work, but I just had a moment. I didn’t want to make the kids sit on the floor anymore, and I wasn’t about to swap out my broken seat for the floor because it’s incredibly hard to get up from that far down these days. So without any planning ahead, I sent Mr. Wonderful out for a couch.

But the couch is home now, and it is lovely. It doesn’t have any odors, no rips, no tears, no stains. It looks brand new. The people we bought it from took great care of it. Our boxer thought the ottoman was just for him, and when we went to bed he kept getting on either the ottoman or the couch. I lost a night of sleep fretting about the dog hair and dog smell on my new couch. Now, I have to tell you, I didn’t think I was materialistic really. (Not that you believe me after reading all of this.) I’d give the shirt off my back to someone who needs it, and I believe people are more important than things. I don’t know what my deal with this couch is. I just cannot get over myself.

All of this to come back around to the writing prompt – you walk in and find a cat on your couch….

No. Just no. I do not want my new-to-me couch smelling like the pets. Or having a diaper leak. Or a spilled cup. Don’t eat on it. Keep your shoes off of it. The anxiety I am experiencing at the hands of this couch is unreal. It is like the only grown up thing in our house and it is MINE. MINE. MINE.

So I don’t want to find cats, or dogs, or even the kids on it. There better be no drinks, no dinner plates, no pizza, no fried chicken, no sandwiches or chips, or cookies or crackers on it. Stay far away from it. Haven’t had a shower yet? Get away from couch. Away, I tell you.

I told my sweet husband to spill something on it just to get it over with. Just to get me over it. Just to remind me that the spills don’t end the world, the couch won’t last forever, and it’s just a thing. (He refused, smart man.) I know these days are fleeting and my kids won’t be little forever. (I’ll probably always have dogs, and dogs always smell like dogs.) The kids will grow up, and move on, and I’ll miss the handprints, art on the wall, spills, laundry, and muddy shoes. It will be quiet and I’ll be lonely and I know that day is coming. I really try not to wish these days away.

I suppose I’ll share the couch like I intended do, and I’ll buy a bottle of Febreeze for any potential odors, and I’ll use the pet attachment on the vacuum to stay ahead of the hair. It is, after all, just a couch.

new couch

While not my couch in my home, this is the same model as the couch we bought.

I just need to write something…

I have no idea where to start or what to write about, but I need to write something. It’s Saturday at 1:15pm, the ninth of July, and I’ve been in the hospital since July 3rd at 2pm. I came into the emergency room at St. Anthony’s experiencing severe respiratory distress. I caught a cold, and it all went down hill from there. By the time I came to the emergency room, I was using my nebulizer every hour and receiving little to no relief. Just walking into the ER caused an exacerbation, and I couldn’t wait for triage, they had to stop to help me. They put me on BIPAP – and were considering the ventilator. I made it through the night (a long, painful night, I might add,) and moved to an ICU bed the next afternoon when there was room. I remained in BIPAP for another day or two (these days are running together now), but I know by 10:30pm Wednesday the 6th I moved to a step down room – not quite ICU, but not a “regular” room, either. I was still on constant monitoring, but was able to get out of the bed a little. Yesterday/Friday the 8th, I got moved to a “regular” room, I’m off the monitoring, still on oxygen, and have an IV still in. The IV is not being used because they’ve switched me to oral medications, but they want it in place if they need to use it again. I got to wander the hospital last night and this morning, ate in the cafeteria with Mom this morning, and sat on the patio for an hour! It was great to get some outside air.

I’m again trying to decide if I should stay in OK or go to CO. What about Oliver, Cheeky, Flynn?! My day care? Stacy quit his job to take a different one and is leaving the state on Monday or Tuesday. They just came in my room to say I’m not going home today – maybe tomorrow, but my O2 sats are not climbing/maintaining on room air like the medical staff would like to see. I’m emotionally spent, physically ready for MY bed and MY blanket, I want to see my kids and not be stressed about them playing on a hospital floor. I want to understand why my asthma is so out of control that for twice in a year I’ve been through a serious hospital stay.

I want to trust God in this, but I feel a little lost. Then, He does the amazing and makes sure I don’t have to worry about the actually medical bills of this stay – they have been generously taken care of. Yet, I feel like an Israelite complaining about manna because I’m thinking, “What about the “other” bills, what about this/that/there/where?” instead of just seeing and appreciating this moments provision. Why does God want me to grow so much?! I’m good with my “comfort” zone – this stretching….stretches.

I know I’ve rambled, and even I don’t know what the point of this post is. I just had to write something, I haven’t been writing on my blog as much lately – and I haven’t written anything since I’ve been in the hospital, so I thought I’d start here.

Yahoo published some more of my stuff – that was encouraging!

Thanks for reading my ramblings! I might try writing more later!