Laughing and Healing

I’ve had the privilege of writing all morning and I was taking a break for lunch. For some reason, I started thinking about Little Lady’s entrance into the world and two things really stand out to me.

The gun unnerved me. My dear hubby had the front door unlocked on the south side of the city at 2 in the morning, and he made sure we were protected. I was oblivious to him unlocking the door, or getting the gun, or anything. I was certainly helpless had someone come in to our home at that time, as I was only a very short time from delivery.

When I had our baby girl in my arms, and we started shuffling around to get more comfortable, I was helped to my cozy bed. At home. MY bed! Yes! (Sorry, but I just loved being at home for all of this.) I looked over and there was a gun on the nightstand. Inside, I freaked. Don’t know why, I know how to shoot that gun, I don’t have a problem with it, I know we have it, and for some reason, in that moment, it just freaked me the heck out!

I’m laughing about this right now.

That night, and the last 3 months, have reminded me that my body is not a total lemon. All three of my babies have been the result of a healthy pregnancy, born healthy, and nursed well. My body delivered them quickly, with no hang ups, and recovered overall pretty well.

This is a healing thought for me. I have a few health issues that have proven to be life threatening and have left me wondering what is wrong with my body, wondering why I am broken.

Thankfully I’m not entirely broken, though. I’m praising God this beautiful Saturday for the things my body can do, and the things I can do. I’m laughing at those weird, unnerving moments that we cannot predict. And I’m thankful that my husband has the desire to protect me and our kids!

We’re Having a Baby!

Four little words that I will treasure forever. Four little words that encouraged me to be hopeful, reassured me when I had doubts, and made me smile when I was grumpy. Our baby is already here, and we are beyond blessed to have her in our life.

When we found out she was on her way; however, I was a little scared. I was scared of what people would think, of how life would change, of doing it alone. There were enough fears that I don’t know how to name them all. Part of the fear stemmed from believing that the cultural “norm” was if a couple wasn’t married, the dad was probably about to make a grand exit. Or a quiet, sneaky one. Whichever.

Baby Daddy didn’t go anywhere. He never mentioned going anywhere. I never caught him, with bags packed, sneaking out the door at night. In fact, I think I’m the only one who ever had a thought that involved him leaving. I am beyond thankful that he stayed, and that I am now his wife. (And yes, I have a horrible fear of abandonment. Like, its bad beyond words bad how afraid of it I am.)

In those first few days and weeks after we found out, we started this daily little thing of getting one another’s attention, and whispering, “We’re having a baby.” This little thing was soothing, comforting, and made it safe for me to be excited, to face anybody that judged us for not being married, and to trust that he wanted to be here as much as I wanted him to be here.

“We’re having a baby,” grew to include, with a giggle, “A pink baby.” Or some other reference of us having a baby girl. (After 4 boys, that was exciting news!) It may be silly, and it’s a small thing, but it made my day when my feet hurt and my back ached. It eased the fears and helped me open my eyes to Baby Daddy’s excitement. This silly thing gave me hope and encouraged me, and I will always remember the fun we had reminding each other that she was on her way.

What silly thing has your significant other done that encouraged you? Have you let them know that you were encouraged by it?