I’ve been thinking lately about marriage, and what makes a marriage good or bad.
Disclaimer: These thoughts do NOT apply to those in abusive relationships. If you are dealing with the trauma of an abusive relationship, these thoughts don’t apply and I pray you find a safe place to go and sort through and heal from everything you’ve faced.
I believe that marriage is what we make of it – as is parenting, as are our friendships, sibling relationships, and even work relationships. I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately, because I’m incredibly blessed to have a good relationship with my husband, and because I’m always observing and trying to learn.
I’ve learned that I can either view my spouse as someone else to pick up after (said with disdain) or as someone who I am greatly blessed to serve. We all do things for our spouses – are we doing those with grace and recognizing that serving them is an honor? Or are we allowing bitterness to take up residence in our hearts, making each task an unwanted chore?
I’m no saint – ask Mr. W and he’ll tell you that I’m not always the easiest to live with. But I do try to remember that he is my partner, not my child. I try to keep in mind that serving Mr. W isn’t a drag, but is a calling God placed on my life and a way to honor Him.
And Mr. W does so much to serve me. I pray for eyes to see every contribution, big or small, every act of kindness and selflessness. I ask God to help me remember all of the things that Mr. W does to help me day in and day out.
I know what it’s like to be unappreciated and undervalued. I know what it’s like to be cut down, to walk on eggshells, and to never be good enough. I pray I never make my precious husband feel this way. I pray that I would serve with grace, and recognize where I’m being served, lest I never say my spouse does nothing for me.